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our isp has been having some issues as of late. these have been the cause of spikedhumor’s availability problems in the past little while. we have been in contact with our isp often due to these problems and will continue to do so as the need arises, but alas, it is beyond our control.
we apologize for the inconveniences this causes but i assure you we are doing all that is within our powers to have the situation resolved. we appreciate your patience.
1. dial 911 immediately. 2. open the curtains to see if anything has changed over the past 2 years. 3. you mean there's something else to do? 4. threaten your isp with an impeachment vote. 5. work. 6. re-introduce yourself to your immediate family. 7. get that kidney transplant you've been putting off.