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a girl asks her boyfriend, to come over friday night and have dinner with her parents. since this is such a big event, the girl announced to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time. well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. he tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. at the counter, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy: a 3-pack, 10-pack, or a family pack. "i'm really going to give it to this girl," the boy tells the pharmacist. "i intend to go for hours and hours." the pharmacist, with a laugh, suggests the family pack, saying the boy will be rather busy, it being his first time and all. that night, the boy shows up at the girls parents house and meet his girlfriend at the door. "oh i'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!" the boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. the boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. a minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer with his head down. 10 minutes passes and still no movement from the boy. finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend finally leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "i had no idea you were this religious. " the boy turns, and whispers back, "i had no idea your father was a pharmacist!!"
ann arbor, mich. — thirteen members of a high school lacrosse team have been disciplined for baring their bottoms on which was written a prom invitation from one player to a girl. carolyn campbell, a senior at huron high school, accepted the invitation to go to the prom with fellow senior kristoff wennersten. the varsity lacrosse players displayed the question, "will you go to the prom with me? yes or no?" on their bottoms, which they bared during a junior varsity game last thursday. officials suspended the 13 players for an undetermined number of games and ordered them to perform 20 hours of community service. they also were suspended from school for one day. "inappropriate is inappropriate," school athletic director dottie davis told the ann arbor news. "it disrespects women, and that's the clear message we need to have the students understand — what may be fun to them isn't necessarily fun to everyone else." campbell accepted the invitation by patting the back of the player who displayed the word "yes." "people get pretty creative with prom. anyone who's done anything has been pretty outlandish," she said. "this is pretty epic, i would say. i didn't think it would become this big of a deal." wennersten said he understood the decision to discipline him and his teammates, adding, "i enjoyed every bit of it." source
this guy doesn`t hide the fact he has less than 6 talking points with zero knowledge of what hes talking about. funny how his volume seems to increase hoping chris matthews would just quit asking.
a bar in spain is serving up free beer and tapas to customers who insult its bartenders. casa pocho in the beach resort town of cullera near valencia opened last week and says its promotional gimmick is working like a charm, reports the daily telegraph. bernard mariusz, the bar's polish-born co-owner, said the free alcohol and snacks go only to those who come up with truly original insults. "they can't call me s.o.b., but they can call me jerk, idiot, clown, that kind of thing," mr mariusz said. "this works, because even people in their 70s come to insult me." mr mariusz said he and michal lotocki, his business partner, came up with the idea to help people relax during the recession. rather than argue about money at home with their spouses, he suggested they stop by and take it out on him. one of the most memorable insults came from a woman who told mr mariusz his ears were so big they reminded her of a car with its doors wide open. "nobody overdoes it. nobody," he said. the best insults earn their creators a small glass of beer and a plate of finger food, which normally cost 1.50 euros (£1.20). newcomers tend to be shy, but eventually get into it, with the proprietor's help. "i prod them a bit, say things like, 'sir, where are you going with a face like that?"' source
beaconsfield, quebec, sept. 30 -- an anglican church near montreal has become dog-friendly, offering a paws and pray service once a month. the communion service at christ church beaurepaire in beaconsfield will include treats for the dogs and bowls of water along with bread and wine for their humans, the montreal gazette reports. the rev. michael johnson, vicar of the church 25 miles east of montreal, plans to try paws and pray for four months to determine if there is enough interest to justify keeping it going. many anglican churches bless animals once a year, usually on the feast day of st. francis of assisi. a regular service is a little more unusual. "i hope the dogs will feel honored and welcomed," johnson said. the service was suggested by johanne tasse, a member of christ church and president of companion animals adoption centers of quebec, the gazette reported. "animals deserve our care and respect," she said. "if we can bring dogs to church, how can we turn around and abuse them?" source
lucy insists that julian take over the job of organizing her wedding: which is odd since julian isn't the groom, ricky is. she wants lots of people and lots of food. the people part will be easy but getting that much food will be difficult on a tight budget. julian's plan to hit a local grocery store runs into a snag when ricky unexpectedly shows up in the middle of the heist. shots are fired. the next day, the cops show up uninvited to the wedding.
