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the only cow in a small kentucky town stopped giving milk. the people did some research and found that they could buy a cow just across the state line in illinois for $200.
they brought the cow from illinois and the cow was wonderful. it produced lots of milk all of the time, and the people were very happy.
they decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow to produce more cows like it. they would never have to worry about their milk supply again.
they bought the bull and put it in the pasture with their beloved cow. however, whenever the bull tried to mount the cow, the cow would move away. no matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull and he could not succeed in his quest. the people were very upset and decided to ask the vet, who was very wise, what to do.
they told the vet what was happening. "whenever the bull tries to mount our cow, she moves away. if he approaches from the back, she moves forward. when he approaches her from the front, she backs off. an attempt from the side, she walks away to the other side."
the vet thought about this for a minute and asked, "did you by chance, buy this cow in illinois?"
the people were dumbfounded, since no one had ever mentioned where they bought the cow. "you are truly a wise vet," they said. "how did you know we got the cow in illinois?"
the vet replied with a distant look in his eye, "my wife is from illinois."
illinois governor rod r. blagojevich was caught by fbi for quite a bit of fuckery - including his attempt to sell obama`s state senate seat.
questions have been dogging illinois ever since gov. rod blagojevich was arrested last week on corruption charges. now a california couple says the answer to all the state's woes may, in fact, be a dog. their dog. michael sunday and his family have launched an internet campaign touting their 14-year-old border collie named scuba as the next governor of the state. sunday wonders if scuba - who because she's deaf certainly wouldn't hear calls for her to step down - wouldn't do any worse than blagojevich. sunday really doesn't think scuba has a shot. but the way he sees it - scuba - who also has trouble seeing because of cataracts - couldn't do any worse than blagojevich. source
a clip from the movie dogma
the state of illinois has decided it's unhappy with pluto's 2006 expulsion from the league of planets and has decreed that as it "passes overhead through illinois' night skies, that it be reestablished with full planetary status". in case you're wondering why illinois wants to mix it up with the international astronomical union - the body responsible for pluto's demotion to dwarf planet, or "plutoid" - the senate resolution notes that "clyde tombaugh, discoverer of the planet pluto, was born on a farm near the illinois community of streator". the resolution (pdf) continues: "dr tombaugh is so far the only illinoisan and only american to ever discover a planet." well, this assertion has caused a few raised eyebrows across the internet, since americans have been discovering exoplanets in their droves for quite a few years. a minor detail, though, because illinois clearly feels local pride has been dented by the by the iau vote "in which only four per cent of the international astronomical union's 10,000 scientists participated". accordingly, the senates has declared that "march 13, 2009 be declared 'pluto day' in the state of illinois in honor of the date its discovery was announced in 1930". source, source anything to keep our minds off of blagojevich.
chicago - sounds a little flaky, but someone has offered more than $50 on ebay for a piece of breakfast cereal that is touted as a lookalike to the state of illinois. two sisters listed "the great illinois corn flake" on the online auction site, promising it has undergone no alterations. emily mcintire, a 15-year-old sophomore in high school from chesapeake, va., said she was grabbing fistfuls of cereal on her way to class when she found the flake. "it was almost to my mouth, it didn't look like illinois at first because it was held the wrong way," said mcintire, but then she noticed the resemblance and said, "oh my goodness, it's illinois." her 23-year-old sister, melissa, said their parents suggested selling it for fun. they're offering free shipping to illinois. "at the moment it's residing in a fine jewelry box with a lot of cotton wrapped around it to keep it safe," said melissa mcintire. the mcintire sisters say they've decided to use the proceeds from the ebay sale to buy more boxes of frosted flakes. "we've got to replace the one we've already sold," melissa mcintire said. "we like cereal." source
