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car chase scene in the bourne identity. if you guys want i will upload the other 2 car chase scenes from the other bourne movies.
bourne gets in a fight with a agent assigned to kill him.
brotherly love was put to the test this week after two 18-year-old identical twins swapped their clothing and traded places so that one could escape jail.
but prison and police officials were not impressed by the gesture when one of the brothers, serving a 10-month sentence for assault and robbery, walked out to freedom.
the inmate walked out of the kronoberg jail, which is located in the same building that houses the headquarters for stockholm's police department, undetected on monday after a visit by his twin brother.
during a visit, the two siblings, neither of whom were named, managed to switch their outfits without anyone noticing.
after visiting hours ended, the inmate walked out, pretending to be his brother. faced with the prospect of spending the night in jail, his brother admitted the ruse to prison guards.
"we knew there was a certain risk of a mix up, so we took some measures," said lars-aake pettersson, the warden for the jail. "but this was apparently not enough. they managed to dupe us."
the only noticeable difference between the two twins was a birthmark on the face of the one doing time, but that was taken care of with an ink pen.
the visiting brother was questioned and released, but could face charges of aiding in a prison escape.
his brother? police said he was still on the run.
source
an old cowboy dressed to kill with a cowboy shirt, hat, jeans, spurs, and chaps went to a bar and ordered a drink. as he sat sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him. after she ordered her drink, she turned to the cowboy and asked him, "are you a real cowboy?" to which he replied, "well, i have spent my whole life on the ranch, herding cows, breaking horses, mending fences. i guess i am." after a short while, he asked her what she was. she replied, "i am a lesbian. i spend my whole day thinking about women. as soon as i get up in the morning i think of women, when i eat, shower, watch tv, everything seems to make me think of women." a short while later she left and the cowboy ordered another drink. a couple sat down next to him and asked, "are you a real cowboy?" to which he replied, "i always thought i was, but i just found out that i'm a lesbian."
"...behold, many will come in my name..."
a middle aged woman has a heart attack and is taken to the hospital. while on the operating table she has a near-death experience. during that experience she sees god and asks if this is it. god says no and explains that she has another 30-40 years to live. upon her recovery she decides to just stay in the hospital and have a face lift, liposuction, breast augmentation, and a tummy tuck. she even has someone come in and change her hair colour. she figures that since she`s got another 30 or 40 years she might as well make the most of it. she walks out the hospital after the last operation and is killed by an ambulance speeding up to the hospital. she arrives in front of god again and asks, "i thought you said i had another 30-40 years?" god replies, "sorry, i didn`t recognize you."
who have you been chatting with for all this time?
who wants obama`s social security number?
a middle aged woman has a heart attack and is taken to the hospital. while on the operating table she has a near-death experience. during that experience she sees god and asks if this is it. god says no and explains that she has another 30-40 years to live. upon her recovery she decides to just stay in the hospital and have a face lift, liposuction, breast augmentation, and a tummy tuck. she even has someone come in and change her hair colour. she figures that since she's got another 30 or 40 years she might as well make the most of it. she walks out the hospital after the last operation and is killed by an ambulance speeding up to the hospital. she arrives in front of god again and asks, "i thought you said i had another 30-40 years?" god replies, "sorry, i didn't recognize you."
a certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "i'm mr. sugarbrown's daughter." her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "i'm jane sugarbrown." the vicar spoke to her in sunday school and said, "aren't you mr. sugarbrown's daughter?" she replied, "i thought i was, but mother says i'm not."
yahweh and jesus try to understand and rationalize the whole "original sin", "holy trinity" and "sacrifice for your sins" deals. fucking hilarious! enjoy!
