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Video:
three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.
when they get there, st. peter says, "we only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!"
so they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. it is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.
along comes st. peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.
st. peter chains them together and says, "your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!"
the next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes st. peter, who doesn't miss a thing. with him is another extremely ugly man. he chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.
the third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, very careful where she steps.
she manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day st. peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on ... very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin.
st. peter chains them together without saying a word.
the happy woman says, "i wonder what i did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?"
the guy says, "i don't know about you, but i stepped on a duck!"
Video:
it got crowded in heaven, so, for one day it was decided only to accept people who had really had a bad day on the day they died. st. peter was standing at the pearly gates and said to the first man, "tell me about the day you died."
the man said, "oh, it was awful. i was sure my wife was having an affair, so i came home early to catch her with him. i searched all over the apartment but couldn't find him anywhere.
so i went out onto the balcony, we live on the 25th floor, and found this man hanging over the edge by his fingertips. i went inside, got a hammer, and started hitting his hands. he fell, but landed in some bushes.
so, i got the refrigerator and pushed it over the balcony and it crushed him. the strain of the act gave me a heart attack, and i died."
st. peter couldn't deny that this was a pretty bad day, and since it was a crime of passion, he let the man in.
he then asked the next man in line about the day he died. "well, sir, it was awful," said the second man. "i was doing aerobics on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment when i twisted my ankle and slipped over the edge.
i managed to grab the balcony of the apartment below, but some maniac came out and started pounding on my fingers with a hammer. luckily i landed in some bushes. but, then the guy dropped a refrigerator on me!"
st. peter chuckled, let him into heaven and decided he could really start to enjoy this job.
"tell me about the day you died?", he said to the third man in line.
"ok, picture this, i'm naked, hiding inside a refrigerator ..."
