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a funny message left for someone about their disgusting habits.
xiku the chain-smoking chimpanzee has almost kicked his deadly habit thanks to the efforts of zoo keepers in china, but it has taken a beer or two to help get him through detox.
xiku became addicted to smoking while mimicking the habits of humans during a career as a circus performer, the state-run xinhua news agency said friday.
by the time he was sent to a zoo in urumqi, the capital of china's northwest xinjiang region, in 2002, xiku was already smoking 10 cigarettes a day.
that number doubled as visitors threw him cigarettes for amusement, but he is now down to smoking four a day after some unorthodox efforts from zoo keepers, xinhua said.
"at the beginning, he became irascible when he wanted to smoke, jolting windows and doors," xinhua quoted one of the keepers as saying.
"we sometimes gave him some sunflower seeds or a bottle of beer to help him shake off the addiction and visitors are no longer allowed to throw him cigarettes."
source
little johnny likes to gamble. one day his dad gets a new job so his family has to move to a new city. johnny's daddy thinks, "i'll get a head start on johnny's gambling." so he calls the teacher and says, "my son johnny will be starting your class tomorrow but he likes to gamble so you'll have to keep an eye on him." the teacher says ok, she can handle it. the next day johnny walks into class and hands the teacher an apple and says, "hi, my name is johnny." she says yes i know who you are. johnny smiles and says, "i bet you ten dollars you've got a mole on your butt." the teacher thinks that she will break his little gambling problem so she takes him up on the bet. she pulls her pants down and shows him her butt and there was no mole. that afternoon, johnny goes home and tells his dad that he lost ten dollars to the teacher and why. so his dad calls the teacher and says, "johnny said that he bet you that you had a mole on your butt and he lost." the teacher says, "yeah, and i think i broke his gambling problem." johnny's dad laughs and says, "no you didn't, he bet me a hundred dollars this morning that he'd see your ass before the day was over."
1. not tippingpeople who provide good service should always be tipped. don’t be an asshat. folks in certain industries depend on that shit. if someone goes out of their way to ensure your happiness, you can come off a few bucks. non-tippers deserve to be nut-kicked by a concrete boot.2. not controlling your kidsit seems everywhere i go these days some wild ass little fucktard is running around a public place (stores…theaters…public parks) bothering otherwise decent folks with their monkey-like annoyance while their parents look on helplessly. red foreman would not put up with such behavior. we need more guys like red foreman in this world.3. driving slowno one likes to be stuck behind the guy who has to slow to a turtle-crawl to make a left turn at a stoplight which only stays green for so many seconds. turning a vehicle is not a complicated task. if your brain can not function in such a timely manner you should not be allowed to drive. other people would like to make that turn as well. don’t be a dick.4. not picking up your trashwe all know at least one guy always leaves a little piece of whatever he was doing on your end table or floor after he is gone. there are always trash cans around. not using a receptacle to rid yourself of trash is just lazy. like the old owl used to say, “give a hoot, throw your fucking trash away!” 5. holding up linesif there is even one person waiting behind you it is common courtesy to do what the fuck you came to do and move on. no one has time to wait on a person who has had ample opportunity to decide what they wanted before they got to the counter. holding up other folks makes you a dredge on society’s functionality. please think about this thoroughly the next time you plan on taking fifteen minutes in the express lane learning to write a check for a 7$ purchase.6. not yielding for pedestriansin case you were wondering… yes, the phrase “the pedestrian always has the right of away” is meant to be taken literally. it is not going to kill you to observe the rules of the road and wait a few seconds for an old lady to finish crossing the street before you attempt to run her down. decent folks who do not see the need to drive everywhere should not be at risk of their lives every time they enter the realm of the crosswalk because some idiot soccer mom bought an suv and absolutely can’t be arsed to spare ten seconds of her day to let some kid cross the damn street.7. asking stupid questions in publicif you are going to be a dumb-ass, please do so in the privacy of your own home. regaling others with the scope of your stupidity in such places as a fast food lunch counter or the local supermarket checkout line does not make you cool. asking such things as “how late are you open?” when there is a clear-as-day sign on the door as you walk in lacks common sense. while it may be true that ignorance is bliss, it is exactly the opposite for those who are forced to witness it. 8. arguing with your girl in public not a single person in this world cares the least little bit about your relationship problems. whenever i see some asshole and his significant other acting like children in front of total strangers the first thought that comes to my mind is the need to bring back the old tar and feathering punishment. there are reasons you have your own home. one of them is so other people aren’t bothered with your failed love life. 9. thinking you are too cool for the rest of societyeveryone hates the type of people who walk around with sticks stuck up their asses. old chuck was right when he said we are all part of the same shit heap. in essence we are all just animals roaming this earth. in a perfect world everyone would be treated with equal consequences and respect by everyone else. this planet would be such a nicer place to live if everyone could follow that simple rule.
even if you're not a fan of the group and/or song, the animations and artwork in this video are fantastic.
breaking the habit music video (anime).
who knew that nu metal can go emo?
coke whore
