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hot golfer chick
the department of wildlife &fisheries advises american golfers to take extra precautions against bears, while playing on golf courses in wyoming and montana national forests.
they advise golfers to wear noise-producing devices, such as little bells on their clothing to alert, but not startle, the bears unexpectedly. they also advise you to carry pepper spray in case of an encounter with a bear.
it is also a good idea to watch for signs of bear activity. for example, golfers should be able to recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear droppings on the golf course.
black bear droppings are smaller, and contain berries and possibly squirrel fur. grizzly bear droppings have bells in them and smell like pepper spray.
a hack golfer spends a day at a plush country club, playing golf and enjoying the luxury of a complimentary caddy. being a hack golfer, he plays poorly all day. round about the 18th hole, he spots a lake off to the left of the fairway. he looks at the caddy and says, "i've played so poorly all day, i think i'm going to go drown myself in that lake." the caddy looks back at him and says, "i don't think you could keep your head down that long."
jim was 26 over par by the eighth hole, had landed a fleet of golf balls in the water hazard, and dug himself into a trench fighting his way out of the rough, when his caddy coughed during a 12-inch putt. jim exploded. "you`ve got to be the worst caddy in the world!" he screamed. "i doubt it," replied the caddy. "that would be too much of a coincidence."
a man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. one of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. he stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. his friend says: "wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing i have ever seen. you truly are a kind man." the man then replies: "yeah, well we were married 35 years."
this guy must feel so silly after this.
you have to be half nuts to do this.
what's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver? a bad golfer goes, "whack, oops!" a bad skydiver goes "oops, whack!"
a hack golfer spends a day at a plush country club, playing golf and enjoying the luxury of a complimentary caddy. being a hack golfer, he played poorly all day long. round about the 18th hole, he spotted a lake off to the left of the fairway. he looked at the caddy and said, "i have played so poorly all day, i think i'm going to go drown myself in that lake." the caddy looked back at the hack golfer and replied, "i don't think you could keep your head down that long."
article submitted by master911. a quiet round of golf is a popular way to relax for many australians, but experts warn the sport can be so loud it could leave players deaf. doctors in the united kingdom say modern titanium clubs create a "sonic boom" when they connect with the ball, which is so loud it could shatter golfers' eardrums. some believe the risk of going deaf is so great they have advised golfers to wear earplugs to tee off. experts have identified at least one case of a golfer they believe has hearing damage as a result of using a titanium driver. but pete's golf pga professional peter radford said manufacturers were working on making titanium drivers quieter. "when titanium first came out they were trying to make a big head so they stretched the metal further and further . . . and the early ones did make a lot of noise," he said. "but every generation of clubs is quieter." most golfers associate a satisfying impact noise with a good shot, so manufacturers strive to produce clubs with a sound that is music to a golfer's ears. "the new callaway fitq's big selling point is that it's quieter than the callaway fit," radford said. doctors at norfolk and norwich university hospital in the uk conducted tests on titanium and stainless steel drivers after a 55-year-old golfer complained of unexplained ringing and reduced hearing in his right ear. he'd been playing golf with a king cobra ld titanium driver three times a week for 18 months and said the noise was "like a gun going off" and had become so unpleasant he had discarded the club. the doctors could find no other physical explanation for the golfer's hearing loss. when tested, the titanium drivers made a much louder sound than the steel-headed clubs. the doctors' report, published in the latest edition of the british medical journal, concluded "caution should be exercised by golfers who play regularly with thin-faced titanium drivers". report co-author dr malcolm buchanan said the sound from thin-faced titanium drivers could induce temporary or permanent cochlear damage. "wearing earplugs is a possibility, although it might be a bit too radical for some," he said. source
broomfield, colo. - a close encounter between flirtatious strippers and children playing in a golf tournament was the result of "mistiming," golf course officials said tuesday as they apologized to parents. the scantily clad women spilled out of a limousine as the youngsters were finishing their game as part of the gold crown junior golf association tournament monday. tournament officials said they were not warned the strippers would be arriving before the end of the game for children, who ranged in age from 7 to 12. the women were part of shotgun willie's charity golf tournament to benefit breast cancer. the strippers were to serve as caddies to patron's of the strip club. a club manager said there were 144 golfers and 70 caddies. a woman told kusa-tv the event drew curious questions from her children, who asked her why the men joining the strippers had water guns and why the women wore only their underwear. kusa said the woman declined to be identified. eagle trace golf course manager evelyn koch says the women were forbidden from going topless and that they were just flirting with the men. "i cannot tell you the girls didn't flash out there but it wasn't a free-for-all," koch said. she said the shotgun willie's crowd and the young golfers had to share the same clubhouse while the children had lunch because their tournament started later than expected. still, she said the broomfield golf course was sorry children were present when the strippers arrived. golf course instructor dustin moser said some of the strippers "got a little out of control" but that it happened after the children had left. source
is this how the moon landing really happened?
even tiger laughs at him.
a man goes to the confessional. "forgive me father, for i have sinned." "what is your sin, my child?" the priest asks back. "well," the man starts, "i used some horrible language this week and i feel absolutely terrible." "when did you do use this awful language?" said the priest. "i was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it was going to go over 250 yards, but it struck a phone line that was hanging over the fairway and fell straight down to the ground after going only about 100 yards." "is that when you swore?" "no, father." said the man. "after that, a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in his mouth and began to run away." "is that when you swore?" asked the priest again. "well, no," said the man, "you see, as the squirrel was running, an eagle came down out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his talons and began to fly away!" "is that when you swore?" asked the amazed priest. "no, not yet." the man replied. "as the eagle carried the squirrel away in his claws, it flew towards the green. and as it passed over a bit of forest near the green, the squirrel dropped my ball." "did you swear then?" asked the now impatient priest. "no, because as the ball fell it struck a tree, bounced through some bushes, careened off a big rock, and rolled through a sand trap onto the green and stopped within six inches of the hole." "you missed the putt, didn't you?" sighed the priest.
