Search Results for “farmer”
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Video:
a farmer got pulled over by state trooper jon for speeding, and the trooper started to lecture the farmer about his speed, and in general began to throw his weight around to try to make the farmer uncomfortable. finally, trooper jon got around to writing out the ticket, and as he was doing that he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head. the farmer said, “having some problems with circle flies there, are ya?”
trooper jon stopped writing the ticket and said, “well yeah, if that’s what they are—i never heard of circle flies.”
so the farmer said, “well, circle flies are common on farms. see, they’re called circle flies because they’re almost always found, circling around the back end of a horse.”
the trooper said, “oh,” and went back to writing the ticket. then after a minute he stopped and said, “hey, wait a minute, are you trying to call me a horse’s ass?”
“oh no, officer. i have too much respect for law enforcement and police officers to even think about calling you a horse’s ass.”
trooper jon said, “well, that’s a good thing,” and went back to writing the ticket.
after a long pause, the farmer said, “hard to fool them flies though.”
Video:
an old farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. from morning till night (and sometimes later), she was always complaining about something.
the only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule. he tried to plow a lot.
one day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field. he drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch.
immediately, his wife began haranguing him again. complain, nag, nag; it just went on and on.
all of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet; caught her smack in the back of the head. killed her dead on the spot.
at the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd. when a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement.
this was so consistent, the minister decided to ask the old farmer about it.
so after the funeral, the minister spoke to the old farmer, and asked him why he nodded his head and agreed with the women, but always shook his head and disagreed with all the men.
the old farmer said: "well, the women would come up and say something about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so i'd nod my head in agreement."
"and what about the men?" the minister asked.
"they wanted to know if the mule was for sale."
