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Video:
an english (american) to english (british) reference guide.*this is not me* i did notice there were quite a few inaccurate parts
english girl
funny video of a german misunderstanding english.
amv with english subtitles
this is one point english useful for your everyday life.
guy tries his best to speak english with american accent.
cool collection of pictures of some nasty english. thanks to bummer for the pics.
some really cute japanese girls taking an amusing english lesson.
here's another strange english lesson with the girls in aerobic suits dancing.
this is dschingis khan's moskau with subtitles stating what it sounds like in english.
an easy to follow explanation of what wikis are in plain english.
an easy to follow explanation of what rss feeds are in plain english.
from the 1st episode in 4th series of mock the week, why english trains are so shit.
good magazine's look at the launching of al jazeera english, a english version of the alternative news stations that originates in qatar. al jazeera gets a bad rap (e.g. from fox news and the us government surprise surprise) which is more independent and some say more informed worldly news.
an english business man is visiting japan. after the meeting with the managers of the local japanese company, he decided to make himself a few sweet hours with a geisha girl.
during their intercourse, the geisha girl was screaming "hontai! hontai! hontai!".
the english business man thought: "oh that must be a praise ! ".
on the next day he was playing golf with one of the japanese managers. after the japanese manager hit the golf ball straight onto the green the english business man thought: "well, why not praise our comrad for his luck in japanese".
he shouted: "hontai! hontai!" the japanese manager turned to him, saying: "wrong hole ?"
english has to be one of the hardest languages to understand. read the paragraph below and try to understand the meaning.
two individuals proceeded towards the apex of a natural geologic protuberance, the purpose of their expedition being the procurement of a sample of fluid hydride of oxygen in a large vessel, the exact size of which was unspecified. one member of the team precipitously descended, sustaining severe damage to the upper cranial portion of his anatomical structure; subsequently the second member of the team performed a self rotational translation oriented in the same direction taken by the first team member.
in plain english what does this translate to?
jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water jack fell down and broke his crown and jill came tumbling after!
an english professor told her students that there would be no excuse for not showing up for their final exam, except for serious injury, illness, or a death in the student's immediate family. a smartass jock in the back of the room asked, "what about extreme sexual exhaustion?"
the entire class did its best to stifle their laughter. when silence was restored, the teacher smiled sympathetically at the student, shook her head, and sweetly said, "you can write with your other hand."
well, if you think your english is bad, take a look at these. they're downright atrocious! if you like it, there'll be part 2.
a class is taught english with a video featuring jimmy onishi, a famous artist in japan. if they laugh, they'll get hit with what seems to be a shinai/kendo stick.
a boy in the sixth grade comes home after school one day. his mother notices that he's got a big smile on his face.
she asks, "did anything special happen at school today?"
"yes, mom. i had sex with my english teacher!"
the mother is stunned. "you're going to talk about this with your father when he gets home."
well, when dad comes home and hears the news he is pleased as punch. beaming with pride, he walks over to his son and says, "son, i hear you had sex with your english teacher."
"that's right, dad."
"well, you became a man today - this is cause for celebration. let's head out for some ice cream, and then i'll buy that new bike you've been asking for."
"that sounds great, dad, but i can i have a football instead? my ass is killing me."
a giant bird caused a flap after it went on a seven-hour rampage through a quiet village. charlie - who stands at 6ft tall when fully upright - destroyed dozens of gardens and attacked people after he escaped from a poultry farm. the two year-old south american rhea -a member of the ostrich family - lost his bid for freedom after he was cornered in a garden and captured, three miles from his home. charlie's owner sharon gould, 38, who runs the poultry farm where charlie, who is related to the ostrich, lived said: 'we think he got spooked by a dog and jumped out of his pen and made off across the fields. 'when we realised he was gone my husband and i tried to follow his footprints through the snow. 'it eventually led to a ford which he waded across. the water was about two and a half feet high because of the snow but somehow he made it to the other side.' mrs gould said she drove to the nearest village and began asking anyone if they saw the missing bird. 'they looked at me like i was a bit mad. but then i heard he'd caused quite a commotion in people's back gardens and was being treated at the vets,' she said. charlie's adventure began at 2.30pm on wednesday after he scaled a 3ft fence at gouldise poultry farm in brickyard lane, drakes broughton, worcestershire. he made his way south across fields and hedges until he reached the village of pershore. he leapt over people's fences and gardens for seven hours until he was captured by a dozen villagers armed with blankets and sticks at 9.30pm. they managed to bundle the giant bird up and take him to a nearby vets where he was treated for a dislocated wing. vet roger martin bore the brunt of charlie's wrath after the giant bird pecked him hard on the ear. dr martin said: 'we'd tried to subdue the bird as gently as we could by putting blankets round his legs to stop him kicking out. 'we were at the vet's entrance when he wriggled his neck out and went for me. he got me on the ear but luckily didn't do any permanent damage.' roger's wife wendy also helped in the chase. she said: 'we were trying to catch it but it was running around people's gardens jumping over fences and hedges like they were nothing. 'i had the idea of putting it in a wheelie bin but it kicked me. eventually a man helped me bring it under control. he was very brave.' but it is not the first time a giant bird has bitten people as chat show host michael parkinson can testify after rod hull's pet emu famously attacked him on live television. source
he slapped the wrong end.
the f word.
