Search Results for “difference”
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Video:
when you take a long time, you're slow.
when your boss takes a long time,
he's thorough.
when you don't do it, you're lazy. .
when your boss doesn't do it, he's too
busy.
when you make a mistake, you're an idiot. .
when your boss makes a mistake,
he's only human.
when doing something without being told, you're overstepping your authority..
when your boss does the same thing, that's initiative.
when you take a stand, you're being bull-headed..
when your boss does it,
he's being firm.
when you overlooked a rule of etiquette, you're being rude. .
when your boss
skips a few rules, he's being original.
when you please your boss, you're apple polishing..
when your boss pleases
his boss, he's being co-operative.
when you're out of the office, you're wandering around..
when your boss is
out of the office, he's on business.
when you're on a day off sick, you're always sick..
when your boss is a day
off sick, he must be very ill.
when you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview. .
when your boss
applies for leave, it's because he's overworked.
Video:
nicknames:
if emma, suzanne, debra and michelle go out for lunch, they will call each other emma, suzanne, debra and michelle.
but if mike, phil, rob and jack go out for a beer, they will affectionately refer to each other as fat boy, godzilla, peanut-head and useless.
eating out:
when the bill arrives, mike, phil, rob and jack will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $22.50. none of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want changeback.
when the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
money:
a man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.
a woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.
bathrooms:
a man has six items in his bathroom - a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the holiday inn.
the average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437. a man would not be able to identify most of these items.
arguments:
a woman has the last word in any argument.
anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
cats:
women love cats.
men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
future:
a woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
a man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
success:
a successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
a successful woman is one who can find such a man.
marriage:
a woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
a man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
dressing up:
a woman will dress up to: go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail.
a man will dress up for weddings, funerals.
natural:
men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed.
women somehow deteriorate during the night.
offspring:
ah, children. a woman knows all about her children. she knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams.
a man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
