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1. and we were poor too. why if i wasn't born a boy.... i'd have nothing to play with
2. a girl phoned me the other day and said.... "come on over, there's
nobody home." i went over. nobody was home.
3. if it weren't for pickpockets i'd have no sex life at all.
4. during sex my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. just the other
night she called me from a hotel
5. one day as i came home early from work..... i saw a guy jogging
naked. i said to the guy.... "hey buddy .... why are you doing
that?" he said ...."because you came home early."
6. it’s been a rough day. i got up this morning.... put on a shirt and a
button fell off. i picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. i'm
afraid to go to the bathroom
7. when i played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up
8. i could tell that my parents hated me. my bath toys were a toaster and
a radio
9. my mother never breast fed me. she told me that she only liked me as a
friend
10. my father carries around the picture of the kid who came with
his wallet.
11. when i was born.... the doctor came out to the waiting room and
said to my father.... i'm very sorry. we did everything we could...... but
he pulled through
12. my mother had morning sickness -- after i was born.
13. i remember the time i was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger
to my father. he said he wanted more proof
14. once when i was lost..... i saw a policeman and asked him to help me find my parents. i said to him.... "do you think we'll ever find them?" he said ... "i don't know kid .... there are so many places they can hide."
15. my wife made me join a bridge club. i jump off next tuesday.
16. i worked in a pet shop and people kept asking how big i'd get
17. i went to see my doctor. "doctor, every morning when i get up and look in the mirror... i feel like throwing up; what’s wrong with me?" he said..."i don't know but your eyesight is perfect."
18. i went to the doctor because i'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. my doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest
