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marijuana. it is the breakfast of champions. the herb of the gods. the hot filling in the apple pie we like to call the american dream. without it, children everywhere would starve, babies would cry, the skies would turn black, and the rivers would flow with the blood of the innocent.
while none of that is remotely true, it is a good way to pass the time when you are bored, and for some it becomes an actively pursued hobby. the economics of marijuana can be as intricate as wall street on its worst day. the varying ranges of quality and pricing in the marijuana business are unheard of in any other market. you can get one bag of decent shwagg in one city for 50$ and go to another an hour away and the same stuff is barely worth 25$.
so that is why i bring you this new weekly column, the crop report. i know, it doesn’t make any sense, but we are talking about weed here, not laws of physics. as many of you know, hard science doesn’t apply when you are stoned. it is like applesauce. for your own good, i won’t explain that metaphor any further. enjoy.
prices in denver are standing strong at 25$ a half/ 50$ an ounce for shwagg and 50 an 1/8th for kind. the shwagg is of varying degrees of strength, but all pretty decent. if bad stuff is floating around, it is scarce. the kind is mainly the same fluffy nuggets from boulder. one or two hits are all you need.
up in eastern canada, the prices are quite a bit more. my sources tell me they are paying 200$ for a good bag of stinky hydro and 600$ for a qp of the same. for mediocre stuff, you will get a quarter for 40$, canadian money of course.
my guy down in southern florida is picking up his ounces for 50$. however, he says as the weight rises, the prices get to be dirt cheap. the shwagg is decent and bright green with “not an assload of seeds.” the good stuff out on the treasure cost is going for between 50 and 60 an 1/8th and 180-210 a half.
the kids in out in mass. aren’t doing quite as good. my info for that region is low, but from what i hear, you can get a nice 1/8th of dro for 45$ and up.
chi-town is still on the expensive end, charging 60 an 1/8 for decent shwagg and 180 a half for the same stuff. if you want to go big and get an o, you’re looking at shelling out 300 clams.
as for the rest of the nation and world, that is for the future. if you want to see your area listed on this weekly report, send me an email at xxoozero@shoutwire.com. all information is held in the strictest confidence and emails will be deleted as soon as they are received.
until next week then, same bud time, same bud channel.
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welcome back, fellow stoners, to the weekly marijuana crop report. as always, many thanks go out to the anonymous stoners all over the world for all the emails and well wishes. it is solely because of you that this report even exists.
i would like to start this report out by paying tribute to the great bradley nowelle of sublime, who died ten years ago last thursday. he was a great musician with a bright future until it was so prematurely snuffed out by the evil drug known as heroin. brad, while you read this report from the great stoner van in the sky, just know that we will never forget you. now, on with the report.
a shit-ton of emails came in from canada in the past few weeks. it is widely rumored that the guys up in bc have the best chronic in all of the land, and after testing a bit of it the other day, i am not one to argue. the average goes for 150$ an ounce while the legendary stuff goes for between 180 and 200 for the same. 25$ will get you an 1/8 and for 15 more you can pick up a nice quarter of some of their shwagg, which to the rest of us is really good bud. more on the other regions of the great white north in future reports.
from there, we move on to a single email received from china, where the penalty for marijuana is death. this is somewhat ironic, since the first documented people to smoke and prescribe marijuana for ailments were the chinese. one brave soul who shall forever remain nameless reported that a sack of buds is near impossible to get due to the death squads. however, there are places that it grows wild. the trick is to get there before the old chinese men and other misplaced foreigners loot it all for themselves. i am told that is not an easy task. steering clear of the red mainland is a good idea for stoners everywhere.
now we go out of the darkness and into the light so to speak, with a report from the mecca of marijuana smokers, kingston, jamaica. sources in the heartland of weed smoke report 16$ oz’s of what is known as normal weed in those parts, and 25$ for the really good stuff. those prices are all us dollars. what a great tourist destination.
moving on in our travels, we head to the great city of new york. i have it on good authority that there are three types of buds going around the metro area right now; middies, beasters, and headies. the middies, or shwagg to the rest of us, are going for $20 an 1/8 and 100 an oz. beasters, which would be mid grade quality or better, is nearly double those prices at 40 an 1/8 and 220-240 an oz. the headies, which is the top quality stuff, is going for around 10$ a gram in some places, and around 320-350 an ounce on average.
scottsbluff nebraska is the exact polar opposite of nyc, but the smokers there have still let themselves be known. the customary price for an 1/8 of kind holds true in our nations heartland at 50$ per 3.5, with shwagg going for between 30-35$ a quarter ounce if it is really good. it has been said that they also see some of the outdoor variety (not nearly as good as hydro but better than swhagg) going for 40$ an 1/8.
sweden is the last destination in our travels this week. on the west coast of that beautiful country the herbs are going for a decent 68 us dollars an 1/8. i say that is decent considering the prices do not change for the quality, and they tend to get a lot of amsterdam import in that region. that is 500 sek for you european folks. long live neutrality.
that is it for this week. trust that we have much more of the world left to visit and this report will go on as long as needed to make sure everyone is represented. emails are always appreciated and totally confidential to xxoozero@shoutwire.com. until next week, smoke em if you got em.
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first off i would like to thank the hordes of anonymous stoners from all over the world that made the continuation of this report possible. i would also like to welcome the readers of goldenseed.co.uk to the growing list of sites this column is now reaching. to the rest of you, welcome back. here’s hoping last week was a stony one. now, without further crap from the writer, on with the report.
we will start with australia. a quick stoner fact about the land down under; they refer to bowls as “cones”. armed with that knowledge, in western australia you should be able to pick up an ounce for 250$-300$ depending on the quality. you can pick up a 1/16, which the natives call a “stick” for around 20$-25$. out on the east coast the prices are a tad bit higher whereas they are paying $300 and up for an ounce, while the prices in the south australian grow capital of adelaide have been reported as being 25$ for a 2.5 gram sack and 200$ per ounce with no real change for different qualities. however, i am told that the bud is usually “pretty kind.”
in keeping with the international theme, we move on to our brothers in the uk. down in the south west of the great city of london i’m hearing the prices are holding pretty steady at 20 pounds for an 1/8. droughts are rare but a stoner close to the action says it can be tougher to find weights over an ounce. down around waymouth, sources tell me it is 25 pounds for the crappy stuff and 35 for something more decent. i am told that buying in any kind of weight down that way is pointless because of the quality of the stuff that is going around. however, for those who are buying in bulk right under the queens nose, your looking at paying anywhere from 120-150 pounds per ounce.
down the road in dublin things are a tad bit different. they smoke mostly hash, as the grass over there is expensive. the homegrown herb is going for 250 to 300 per ounce, while the amsterdam import will cost you upwards of 350 per ounce. compare that to the hash prices; “rocky”, which is the most commonly smoked, is going for 80 to 120 an ounce, while pollum and leb, the good shit, can be found at 150-180 per ounce. i always liked the hash better myself anyways.
heading back to the states, i have it on good authority that philly is going through somewhat of a drought as of late due to the fact that a lot of product has been stopped at the border. bc is scarce due to the new technology the feds are using. also, with the canadian dollar nearly the same as the us dollar, i have heard rumors of guys getting “price fucked” on their weight. however, despite that, i hear the headies coming in from cali are still holding down the real smokers. while it is still possible, however improbable, to get bc’s at $220-$250 a zone, the shwagg is going for $40-$50 an ounce, all depending on who you know.
i also promised that i would give a shout out to my boys back in my home region of southern cali. my peeps tell me really good shit is going for 40$ an 1/8. however, if you know southern california like i do, you know there is always some killer, killer shit going around somewhere. i’m told that stuff is going for 60$ an 1/8 and is not to be messed with. shwagg prices are probably the lowest in the country, with ounces being passed down for a mere 40$. let’s be real though, anyone buying shwagg in socal with all the kills going around should have their head examined.
a lot of info rolled in from arizona this week as well. the desert stoners are paying around 60 an 1/8 for hydro, though i am told that better stuff can be found farther north in vegas. i did hear a bit about some really bomb shit going around the valley of the sun for 50$ an 1/8. in the lower categories, a quarter of shwagg is going for $20 up north and 15$ down south, with 30$ halfs. as always, the closer you get to mexico, the better the prices will be.
we end this week’s article with a very promising report out of ecuador, where you can still get a pound for 30$. while my source down there is not so sure of the quality, at those prices who really cares? for christ sakes, you could build a house of weed and smoke yourself silly for the rest of your life on only a few thousand extra bucks. we can always dream.
that’s it for this week, if you didn’t see your region listed, stay tuned, it’s a big world, and there is a lot more of it to cover. trust that i will not rest until i see every region represented. as always, all emails are appreciated to xxoozero@shoutwire.com and as always, all are completely confidential.
