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the funny video of wake the dead from comeback kid. one of my favorite songs.
man: haven't i seen you someplace before? woman: yes that's why i don't go there anymore. man: really? i heard it was because everyone there thinks you're slutty. man: is this seat empty? woman: yes, and this one will be if you sit down. man: probably because you'd be on your knees greeting my crotch. man: your place or mine? woman: both. you go to yours, and i'll go to mine. man: that's cool, 'cause after i get done nailing you in the back of my car... i don't give a crap where you go. man: how do you like your eggs in the morning? woman: unfertilized. man: no problem, i can always withdraw onto your face man: do you want to dance? woman: no! man: i think you misheard me. i said you look fat in those pants. man: if i could see you naked, i'd die happy. woman: if i saw you naked, i'd probably die laughing. man: that works for me... as long as you're still warm when i do you.
the king of rock 'n' roll.
the host claims this isn't what the show is about, but why believe him after this pathetic display of his? i don't know where the show is based (probably american, as it's a very low form of entertainment), but it's probably an access channel from a small town in the middle of no where. thanks, deftoneguy310.
man: haven't i seen you someplace before? woman: yes, that's why i don't go there anymore.
man: is this seat empty? woman: yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
man: your place or mine? woman: both. you go to yours, and i'll go to mine.
man: so, what do you do for a living? woman: i'm a female impersonator.
man: hey baby, what's your sign? woman: do not enter.
man: how do you like your eggs in the morning? woman: unferrtilized.
man: your body is like a temple. woman: sorry, there are no services today.
man: i would go to the end of the world for you. woman: but would you stay there?
man: if i could see you naked, i'd die happy. woman: if i saw you naked, i'd probably die laughing.
in summary, the police arrested patrick lawrence, a 22-year-old white male, resident of dacula, ga, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m.on friday. lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior,public indecency, and public intoxication at the gwinnett county courthouse onmonday.
the suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to stop. "you know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. at least i thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview. lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes,cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his need.
"i guess i was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment. in the process, lawrence apparently failed to notice a gwinnett county police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer brenda taylor approached him. "it was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer taylor." i walked up to (lawrence) and he's..just working away at this pumpkin. "taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached lawrence. "i just went up and said,'excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a umpkin?'
"he froze and was clearly very surprised that i was there, and then looked me straight in the face and said," "a pumpkin? damn...is it midnight already?'"
one day in a park somewhere in texas a young quiet asian man was sitting on a bench in a park, eating a lunch of bread and jelly.
then along came a redneck type of man around 30 years of age, chewing lots of bubble gum. he started up a conversation.
"is that bread?" said the redneck with a toothy grin, smacking up his bubblegum in the young man's ear, "americans eat bread, but not that type. we eat fresh bread, and peel off the crust, and send it to the factory. we also send moldy bread to the factory. the factory combines all the trash and sends it to asia as bread."
the redneck, annoyingly chewing his gum, says, "is that jelly? us americans, we eat fresh fruits, then take off the peels and the seeds and then send it to the factory. they mold it together and send it to asia as jelly."
the asian man, extremely pissed, says, "do you americans use condoms when you have sex?"
"yes" he replied.
"well do you throw them away?"
"of course" said the redneck.
"well in asia we don't. we send them to the factory and they melt it down and ship it to america as chewing gum!"
the bully finally gets what he deserves =)
tommy morrison was kicked out of boxing at the height of his career for testing positive for hiv in 1996. today he says he never contracted the disease and is ready for a comeback.
the mayor of zagreb has called for freddie mercury to make a comeback gig in the croatian capital. speaking on national television about his musical preferences, milan bandic said he wanted to attract rock legends to the city. "i would like to see david bowie play in zagreb. and freddie mercury could come, too," he said. mayor bandic reportedly seemed shocked to be told that the queen frontman had died 18 years ago. the mistake caused shock among many croatians but bandic himself shrugged off the gaffe. his prospects in the second round of local elections to be held this sunday seem to have been unharmed with political pundits expecting him to get a new mandate. zagreb resident mirjana popovic said: "it might seem he is a little bit out of touch when he says things like this but he is the right man for mayor." source
