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hung chow calls in to work and says, hey, boss i not come work today, i really sick.
i got headache, stomach ache and my legs hurt. i not come work.
the boss says, you know hung chow, i really need you today.
when i feel like this i go to my wife and tell her give me sex. that makes everything better and i go work. you try that.
two hours later hung chow calls again: boss, i do what you say and i feel great. i be at work soon. you got nice house.
it's funny even if you don't understand what they're saying. stephen chow's the famous chinese movie director who made shaolin soccer and kung fu hustle.
this is originally from snl but with the pet food recall and animal deaths, it is most appropriate.