Spiked Humor Crave Online

Video:

chain saw juggler

two chain saws and a ball.

• 4.3444/5
• 3526
• 10
• 6/19/2009
• by bajaboy

Video:

chain reaction

kick off the biggest chain reaction that you can.

• 3.5714/5
• 776
• 6
• 1/12/2007
• by Ultimate

Video:

best chain letter ever

hello, my name is lewis and i suffer from the guilt of not forwarding 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, a poor 6-year-old girl in arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her to a traveling freak show.

do you honestly believe that bill gates is going to give you, and everyone to whom you send "his" email, $1000?

how stupid are we?

ooooh, looky here! if i scroll down this page and make a wish, i'll get laid by a model i just happen to run into the next day!"

what a bunch of bullshit.

maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing a chain letter that was started by peter in 5 ad and brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the mayflower.

fuck 'em.

if you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly amusing. i've seen all the "send this to 10 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being" forwards about 90 times.

i don't fucking care. show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out these forwards. chances are, it's your own unpopularity.

the point being? if you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. if it's funny, send it on.

don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in botswana with no teeth who has been tied to the ass of a dead elephant for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this email.

now forward this to everyone you know. otherwise, tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your genitals.

have a nice day.

p.s. send me 15 bucks and then fuck off

• 4.009/5
• 6838
• 21
• 7/11/2005
• by Scienott

Video:

us technology - ir spotlight & chain gun

what kind of advantage do the us troops have over their opponents? with a neon light, they're able to accurately fire a chain gun at night. thanks, ruff_playa114.

• 3.5/5
• 27673
• 72
• 9/15/2005
• by Scienott

Video:

bomb chain

over 40 levels of unique puzzle gameplay. try to blow up all the bombs on the board by creating the perfect chain reaction. the game keeps high scores and best times, and saves your progress automatically. use the mouse to drag and drop the bombs, you can also drop bombs onto each other to 'combine' them in bigger type bombs.

• 4.3049/5
• 3788
• 7
• 4/12/2008
• by master911

Video:

father chains son to bumper

davenport, iowa - an iowa man faces child-endangerment charges for allegedly chaining his 14-year-old son to the bumper of a car. the man's brother was charged with assault.

the 37-year-old davenport man said he was just trying to prevent his son from running away. both men said they were just trying to protect the boy.

"yeah it may have been a little outrageous and out of control, but i was trying to protect him from people i don't want him hanging around with," said richard collins, father.

collins said his son, who has an amputated arm, ran away on sunday and was picked up by police. on the way home, collins said his son tried to punch him.

''he decided he wanted to swing and throw punches at me, and i opened-hand smacked him and said, 'you ain't gonna hit me," he said.

back at the house, collins said his son trashed his room and broke a window. that's when his brother, james collins, had the idea of restraining him to the bumper that was not attached to a car.

''the chain was loose," said said james collins, uncle. "the marks on his ankle, he did himself by pulling on the bumper."

his father said his ex-wife has legal custody but their son had been staying with him.

''his mom gave him to me, cause she can't handle him," he said.

the 14-year-old has since been returned to his mother. his father remains unapologetic.

source

• 4.5069/5
• 1067
• 11
• 10/8/2009
• by InsayneJayne

Video:

big ass chain

more large bling.

• 4.2743/5
• 3698
• 5
• 9/25/2009
• by bajaboy

Video:

god of war psp - chains of olympus

i love these games. you can get a free demo umd of this title sent to you from here. http://www.us.playstation...mpus/

• 3.9627/5
• 2558
• 5
• 4/26/2007
• by Ciro545

Video:

police story 3 super cop jackie chain

fight clips & end fight - jackie chan & michelle yeoh.

• 4.629/5
• 2538
• 14
• 2/8/2009
• by ecko69x

Video:

car vs chain gun

what do you get when t.v. shows run out of ideas? guys having a good time blowing shit up and recording it!

• 3.8702/5
• 37878
• 34
• 8/3/2005
• by Fuzzylogic

Video:

leela chained up

dunno what happend it's my pencil that draws not my brain.

• 2.9967/5
• 4716
• 12
• 6/27/2006
• by Futurama_Freak1-MOD

Video:

chain reaction: a rube goldberg machine

although it failed twice, it was pretty good overall. it took 3 hours and many k'nex pieces to build.

• 3.6477/5
• 5275
• 22
• 6/3/2006
• by dczraptor

Video:

your mother's got a penis - goldie looking chain

from those welsh rappers goldie looking chain.

• 3.3571/5
• 2642
• 14
• 10/18/2006
• by blong

Video:

guns don't kill people rappers do - goldie looking chain

welsh rapper goldie looking chain telling it like it is...

• 3.2143/5
• 3078
• 26
• 10/18/2006
• by blong

Video:

domino chain throughout house

a domino chain i made while i was bored one day.

• 3.9251/5
• 6986
• 46
• 10/30/2006
• by dczraptor

Video:

chain reaction

bob, mike and jason take on kim, laura and jess in the second season of the game show "chain reaction" on gsn!

• 3.1429/5
• 947
• 8
• 4/2/2007
• by mxc0427

Video:

extreme chain surfing

this guy hops on a sidewalk chain and does some intense surfing.

• 4.7365/5
• 9869
• 40
• 4/8/2008
• by Shifty

Video:

dad accused of leaving child in dog chains

a north carolina man has been accused of chaining up his 12-year-old son, according to authorities.

james galanis, 35, is accused of leaving his son in dog chains when he left his silver valley, n.c., home last week, according to authorities.

the child told investigators that he was chained to a china hutch but managed to get away and call for help. the boy is ok, authorities said.

wmur channel

• 3.3636/5
• 1441
• 7
• 11/9/2005
• by xxoozero

Video:

man accidentally kills wife with chain saw

otsego, mich. — michigan authorities say a man working in his yard accidentally killed his wife with a chain saw.

the otsego couple were trying to cut a tree sunday when the man hit his wife in the neck with the chain saw.

she died at the scene of the accident, about 35 miles south of grand rapids.

sheriff's deputy david labonde lives nearby. he tells wood-tv he heard a cry for help and did what he could to help.

the sheriff's department says it's withholding the couple's names until other relatives are notified. the tv station says they're in their 40s.

source

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• 4.6461/5
• 1751
• 18
• 5/12/2009
• by InsayneJayne

Video:

man fights mountain lion with chain saw

billings, mont. - a colorado man used a chain saw to fight off an apparently starving mountain lion that attacked him during a camping trip in northwestern wyoming with his wife and two toddlers.

dustin britton, a 32-year-old mechanic and ex-marine from windsor, colo., said he was alone cutting firewood about 100 feet from his campsite in the shoshone national forest when he saw the 100-pound lion staring at him from some bushes.

the 6-foot-tall, 170-pound britton said he raised his 18-inch chain saw and met the lion head-on as it pounced - a collision he described as feeling like a grown man running directly into him.

"it batted me three or four times with its front paws and as quick as i hit it with that saw it just turned away," he said in a telephone interview with the associated press.

wildlife officials said sunday evening's attack about 27 miles west of cody was highly unusual because mountain lions are reclusive by nature. only eight cases of mountain lions acting aggressively toward humans have been documented in wyoming over the last decade.

"it's very, very rare" for lions to attack, said wyoming game and fish spokesman warren mischke. "we're still trying to investigate why this lion would behave this way."

the wounded animal retreated after britton inflicted a six- to eight-inch gash on the lion's shoulder, leaving him with only a small puncture wound on his forearm.

"you would think if you hit an animal with a chain saw it would dig right in," he said. "i might as well have hit it with a hockey stick."

the mountain lion was shot and killed monday after it attacked a dog brought in to track the animal, which was 4 to 5 years old. authorities say it was in poor physical condition and appeared to be starving.

after britton's confrontation, he and his wife, kirsta, decided to spend the night in their pop-up camper with their two children rather than risk packing up with the lion still on the loose.

wildlife agents were called the next morning after britton told a passing u.s. forest service employee about the incident.

tests for rabies and other diseases came up negative, but officials said they were continuing to analyze the animal for other potential diseases.

source

• 4.7249/5
• 1294
• 17
• 7/21/2009
• by InsayneJayne

Video:

parking dispute leads to chain saw attack

scranton, pa. — a pennsylvania man faces up to 37 years in prison now that he's been convicted of tearing open a neighbor's door with a chain saw in a fit of anger over parking.

authorities said 34-year-old robert kane began sawing through the front door of jamie zaleski's apartment in scranton last march while zaleski and several friends ran out the back.

kane was angry because a friend of zaleski's parked in front of his house. police say zaleski heard a knock at the door, asked who it was, and kane responded, "your worst (expletive) nightmare. open the door or i'll cut it down."

he then cut a gash in the door with a chain saw, authorities said.

the defense said zaleski never actually saw kane wielding the saw. but a witness testified that kane bragged about the incident, and the jury convicted kane on tuesday of attempted burglary, terroristic threats and other charges. a sentencing date wasn't immediately set.

source

• 4.6004/5
• 1289
• 12
• 1/9/2009
• by InsayneJayne

Video:

mr. t sheds gold chains because he feels after katrina its "unethical"

mr. t has taken off his signature strands of gold chains for good. after witnessing the destruction from hurricane katrina, the former star of "the a-team" decided wearing so much gold is unethical.

he said thursday at the television critics association's summer meeting, "as a spiritual man, i felt it would be a sin against my god for me to wear all that gold again because i spent a lot of time with the less fortunate."

"i saw some, i call it `sorry celebrities.' they'll go down there and hook up with the people to take a photo-op. i said, `how disgusting.' if you're not going to go down there with a check and a hammer and a nail to help the people, don't go down there."

mr. t, whose real name is lawrence tero, is starring in new show -- "i pity the fool," which debuts on tv land in october.

source

• 3.6875/5
• 3297
• 22
• 7/15/2006
• by Xlain

Video:

kicking the habit no monkey business for chain-smoking chinese chimp

xiku the chain-smoking chimpanzee has almost kicked his deadly habit thanks to the efforts of zoo keepers in china, but it has taken a beer or two to help get him through detox.

xiku became addicted to smoking while mimicking the habits of humans during a career as a circus performer, the state-run xinhua news agency said friday.

by the time he was sent to a zoo in urumqi, the capital of china's northwest xinjiang region, in 2002, xiku was already smoking 10 cigarettes a day.

that number doubled as visitors threw him cigarettes for amusement, but he is now down to smoking four a day after some unorthodox efforts from zoo keepers, xinhua said.

"at the beginning, he became irascible when he wanted to smoke, jolting windows and doors," xinhua quoted one of the keepers as saying.

"we sometimes gave him some sunflower seeds or a bottle of beer to help him shake off the addiction and visitors are no longer allowed to throw him cigarettes."

source

• 3.8333/5
• 1841
• 13
• 6/23/2006
• by MansaMusa

Video:

boy forced to chain-smoke 42 cigarettes

a malaysian schoolboy was forced to chain-smoke 42 cigarettes in two hours after a teacher found a cigarette in his locker.

mohd alif arifin, 16, could not eat for nearly a week after the punishment, the boy's aunt told the new straits times.

the schoolboy, who claimed he knew nothing of the cigarette in his locker, said: "i was forced to smoke four cigarettes at a time until i finished 42 cigarettes."

after his punishment, witnessed by other students and teachers, alif was sent home from his school on the island of langkawi.

his aunt faridah mat zain, who has cared for her nephew since the death of his parents, said: "he was coughing continuously and he was very quiet.

"but two days later, i noticed his lips were swollen and got him to tell me what happened. he couldn't eat for five days."

alif was taken to a clinic which referred him to langkawi hospital, she said.

a school official said the institute had apologized to the boy's uncle, who lodged a police report when he found out about the punishment.

"this is not normal. we don't do that often," the official said. he added it was up to the state's education department to take action against the teacher.

in 2007, another malaysian teacher was reprimanded after she made almost 140 teenage girls squat in a pond at a boarding school as punishment for clogging the toilets.

source,source

• 4.6538/5
• 1710
• 12
• 8/7/2009
• by InsayneJayne