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bubba computer case.
2nd sampler from brendyn "bubba" crispell.
a big fella named bubba is doing some hard time in prison.
bubba joe's first military assignment was to a military induction center and because he was a good talke they assigned him the duty of advising new recruits about the government benefits, especially the gi insurance to which they were entitled.
before long the captain in charge of the induction center began noticing that bubba was getting a 99 percent sign-up for the top gi insurance.
this was odd because it would cost these poor inductees nearly $30.00 per month more for their higher coverage than what the government was already granting.
the captain decided that he would sit in the back of the room and observe bubba's sales pitch.
bubba joe stood up before his latest group of inductees and stated, "if you have the normal gi insurance and go to iraq and are killed, the government pays your beneficiary $6,000."
"if you take out the supplemental gi insurance. which will cost you an additional $30.00 per month, the government pays your beneficiary $200,000."
"now," bubba concluded, "which bunch do you think they're gonna send into combat first?"
the football coach noticed that his star tackle, bubba had so many women hanging around that he couldn't possibly handle all of them.
so one day he asked bubba, "just what the hell is your secret?" bubba replies, "well, coach, whenever i'm about to have sex, i always whip it out and bang it on the dresser like a hammer. that numbs it and i can screw 'em forever!"
the coach went home early one day and went to the bedroom. he heard his wife in the shower. seeing a window of opportunity, he tore off his clothes and started banging it on the dresser.
his wife stuck her head out of the shower and said, "that you bubba?"
two rednecks, bubba and earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of bud.the passenger, bubba, said "lookey thar up ahead, earl, it`s a poll-ice roadblock. we`re gonna get busted fer drinkin` these here beers!" "don`t worry, bubba", earl said. "we`ll just pull over and finish drinkin` these beers, peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, and throw the bottles under the seat." "what?," asked bubba. "just let me do the talkin`, okay?", said earl. they finished their beers, threw the empty bottles under the seat, and each put a label on their forehead. when they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, "you boys been drinkin`?" "no, sir", said earl. "we`re on the patch!"
bubba got drunk and died in a fire in his trailer. he was so badly burned that the morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they called his two buddies jim-bob and billy-joe to i.d. him.
jim-bob went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet. "yep, he's got burned up purdy bad. roll 'im over," said jim-bob. the mortician rolled him over, jim-bob looked at his butt and said, "nope, dat ain't bubba."
not saying anything, but finding it a bit strange, the mortician brought in billy-joe to i.d. the body. "yep, he's burned up real bad. roll 'im over," said billy-joe. the mortician rolled him over, billy-joe looked down at his butt and said, "dat ain't bubba."
"how can you tell?" asked the mortician.
"cause bubba had two assholes," replied billy-joe. "two assholes? that's impossible!" said the mortician.
"yep. everyone in town knowed bubba had two assholes, cause every time the three of us went to town, everyone would yell, 'here comes bubba with them two assholes!"
brendyn "bubba" crispell's first sampler. made in 2006. if you want to see more, watch his 2007 sampler, and then rate how much better he has gotten.
creepy, sad, pathetic and scary. can you think of any other word to describe this?
a funny clip from "lets go to prison."
it was graduation night at cox high school and they were about halfway through the ceremony when the principal said, "ladies and gentlemen, we have a problem, bubba is a few credits short and won't be able to graduate tonight." well now, bubba was the starting right guard for cox's football team, and when the student body heard that he wasn't going to graduate, they all jumped up and started to chant, "give bubba another chance, give bubba another chance!" pat dye and the principal had a quick conference and afterward, the principal announced that they have decided to give bubba another chance. bubba is told that he will be given a "one question" math test and if he passes, he can graduate. the question is, "what is 2 plus 3?" bubba thinks for about 20 minutes and finally says, "i have it! the answer is 5!" there is complete silence in the auditorium for a couple of seconds and then the entire cox high school football team jumps up and begins to chant, "give bubba one more chance. give bubba one more chance!"
bill has money on his mind
