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this is a tribute to all of you mass posters and serial uploaders of porn.
i can't imagine what these babies go through when not captured on camera. what's wrong with these parents?
this is the spikedhumor.com news update you've all been waiting for. please read this! we're now in our final testing phase for the new file server system. this setup will remain online, so long as there are no more problems found. as of now, it is running very smooth and we are impressed with the fruits of our labor and investment. believe it or not, but we're spending another $10,000 to set up a redundant cluster file server (backups). this means there will be no downtime if any one of the file servers go down. this file server setup has unlimited scalability, meaning that we can add more hardware if we start using more traffic. it is fully expandable and ready for anymore upgrades/tweaks. we're still doing tests, so there is still a chance of unexpected failures or problems until we work out all the kinks. rest assured, we'll be tweaking the servers throughout the week, especially over the next couple days. note: there may be some performance issues while we do some extended load tests... promotional experience points (xp) week! starting next week (monday, march 26th), xp will be worth 2x the regular amount! this promotion will last for 1 full week. then, on the weekend (saturday, march 31st), xp will be worth 3x! this triple-xp promotion will last until the following monday. on top of offering more xp, we'll be increasing the coolness of prizes and prevalence of drawings. we're aiming to offer a prize 15x better than the xps computer & lcd monitor on our next drawing. plus, once our linux cluster is redundant, we'll consider giving away free stuff to dedicated users that "roughed the waters" during the unfortunate past couple months. thank you for your patience! it is much appreciated. we will make sure you are rewarded for your loyalty. , spiked staff
a controversial summer hockey camp that teaches youth how to scrap on skates is attracting censure from critics who fear the youngsters are being groomed for hockey mayhem. organizers defend the fight camp, saying it teaches players to protect themselves. trevor lakness, gm of puckmasters, says they're not trying to make more fights in hockey. "what we're doing is if kids get into fights, they're not going to get hurt, they're going to know how to protect themselves." a hockey canada spokesman calls the program unnecessary. the regina camp is the brainchild of lakness and minnesota wild enforcer derek boogaard, who has had 26 fights in 113 games during his first two seasons with the team. the two-hour lesson, which is held at the puckmasters training facility and costs $40, instructs players from ages 12 to 18 on the art of on-ice fighting. "kids now go out on the rink and now they have the confidence that 'if i do get into a fight, i'm not going to get my butt kicked'," lakness said. instructor derek parker said the mandate of the school is not to teach kids how to become teenaged bruisers, but to avoid black eyes themselves. "to get the most out of your players, you have to take the fear away so at least they can protect each other," he said. the camp includes a fight tape that is a compilation of derek boogaard and his brother aaron's junior and professional fights as well as television play-by-play that breaks down the science of the on-ice brawl. the tape also shows the boogaard brothers demonstrating the hockey fight "code," where they are seen easing up and skating away once their opponents fall to the ice. after the film, students undergo a strenuous workout that includes cardio and crunches. finally, they get on their equipment, a full-face shield and one boxing glove as instructors demonstrate proper technique. when the program first began, concerned parents began spoke out against it, some describing it as "barbaric" and a "goon school." lakness defends the school from those critics, saying it's for the benefit of the young players. "it's no different than karate -- why do people put their kids in karate? it's protection, it's an art." despite the controversy, organizers say they want to run a similar camp next off-season. "we'll keep doing this clinic as long as there's a demand for it. as long as there's fighting in the nhl," lakness said. "if they're there teaching kids at the ages of 12, 13, 14 to defend themselves, that's fine," said wayne gretzky. "i took boxing classes when i was 10. it didn't pay off for me."
the last one is unreal.
police escort her away and disappoint the entire crowd.
this area is closed.
on second thought that's more of an attention win.
age activated attention deficit disorder. this is how it develops: i decide to water my garden. as i turn on the hose in the driveway, i look over at my car and decide my car needs washing. as i start toward the garage, i notice that there is mail on the porch table that i brought up from the mailbox earlier. i decide to go through the mail before i wash the car. i lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full. so, i decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first. but then i think, since i'm going to be near the mailbox, when i take out the garbage anyway, i may as well pay the bills first. i take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only 1 check left. my extra checks are in my desk in the study, so i go inside the house to my desk where i find the can of coke that i had been drinking. i'm going to look for my checks, but first i need to push the coke aside so that i don't accidentally knock it over. i see that the coke is getting warm, and i decide i should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. as i head toward the kitchen with the coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need to be watered. i set the coke down on the counter, and i discover my reading glasses that i've been searching for all morning. i decide i better put them back on my desk, but first i'm going to water the flowers. i set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly i spot the tv remote someone left it on the kitchen table. i realize that tonight when we go to watch tv, i will be looking for the remote, but i won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so i decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first i'll water the flowers. i pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. so, i set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. then, i head down the hall trying to remember what i was planning to do. at the end of the day: ----the car isn't washed, ----the bills aren't paid, ----there is a warm can of coke sitting on the counter, ----the flowers don't have enough water, ----there is still o nly 1 check in my check book, ----i can't find the remote, ----i can't find my glasses, ----and i don't remember what i did with the car keys. then, when i try to figure out why nothing got done today, i'm really baffled because i know i was busy all day long, and i'm really tired. i realize this is a serious problem, and i'll try to get some help for it, but first i'll check my e-mail. do me a favor, will you? forward this message to everyone you know, because i don't remember to whom it has been sent. don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming! growing older is mandatory. growing up is optional. laughing at yourself is therapeutic.
there is one in every group.
no oprah, no! bad oprah.
nice paint job on the falcon.
it spins!
just strike a pose, firefighters.
holy shit.
there has been some issues with the ps3 drawing, i know, tell me something you do not know, right. but the situation will be handled and a winner will be announced soon. crave has decided that insaynejayne will be the one to draw the winner of the contest. as soon as that happens the winner will be posted and the prizes awarded. so please be patient just a little bit longer. crave sincerely apologizes for the delays and they are just as upset at the lack of progress on the contest as you guys are. they are hoping to resolve this issue and move on to better days for spiked humor. the next contest will be up and running soon and the drawings will go smoother. thanks again for all your patience. woot! now without further ado... batman shall announce the winner. congrats maxgnr! damn you so fine, max :p oh boy oh boy oh boy... check out the killer (yes... yes i used the term "killer") moderator drawing prize:
a toddler throwing the best ever temper tantrum!
