Spiked Humor Crave Online

Video:

actual newspaper headlines

these are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country. typhoon rips through cemetery; hundreds dead

man struck by lightning faces battery charge

new study of obesity looks for larger test group

astronaut takes blame for gas in spacecraft

kids make nutritious snacks

chef throws his heart into helping feed needy

arson suspect is held in massachusetts fire

british union finds dwarfs in short supply

ban on soliciting dead in trotwood

hospitals are sued by 7 foot doctors

• 3.4429/5
• 483
• 4
• 12/23/2005
• by spiked_humor12

Video:

actual drumming skills

neil peart from rush doing a rather long and creative drum solo. imagine how difficult it would be to go on that long. go ahead, try air drumming to the video ;)

• 4.2452/5
• 7132
• 31
• 12/29/2005
• by Fubar

Video:

cnn's actual bias (parody from real time wiith bill maher)

and their bias tends to lend towards attractive white people in general. if only there were more shark attacks....

• 3.7143/5
• 5723
• 22
• 4/24/2006
• by carrotfire

Video:

actual entries on hospital charts

1. she has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
2. patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
3. on the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
4. the patient is tearful and crying constantly. she also appears to be depressed.
5. the patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
6. discharge status: alive but without my permission.
7. healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
8. the patient refused autopsy.
9. the patient has no previous history of suicides.
10. patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
11. patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
12. patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
13. she is numb from her toes down.
14. while in er, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
15. the skin was moist and dry.
16. occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
17. patient was alert and unresponsive.
18. rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
19. she stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
20. i saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
21. both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
22. examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
23. the lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
24. the patient was to have a bowel resection. however, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.
25. skin: somewhat pale but present.
26. the pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
27. patient was seen in consultation by dr. blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and i agree.
28. large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
29. patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

• 3.5283/5
• 1164
• 6
• 12/21/2006
• by obcrip

Video:

the actual alternate ending for army of darkness

this is the alternative ending for army of darkness.

• 3.4268/5
• 2696
• 13
• 12/28/2006
• by MetalSlasher7

Video:

saddam hussein's actual dead body

this is saddam hussein dead, after the execution.

• 3.4876/5
• 13537
• 64
• 12/30/2006
• by Ultimate

Video:

actual pictures from a yahoo halloween party

these are pictures that the chatters at a miami chat room 1 on yahoo took at their halloween party. the people are so ugly and if you look closely you will see that some woman even takes a newborn baby. heres all the pics i could get....http://new.photos.yahoo.com/spikedhumor420/

• 3.3081/5
• 1687
• 2
• 1/13/2007
• by discofish

Video:

actual bohemian grove video pt1

actual vid of bohemain grove, this may surprise u so but many of "elite" attend a gathering where they do a "mock" sacrifice of a child to a 50 ft statue? y? this is the cremation of care ritual. at the very least this shld raise some eyebrows....... as alwys do yr own research into this matter. dont jst take my word for it!

• 4.1122/5
• 785
• 6
• 3/14/2008
• by griff297

Video:

survivor "eye of the tiger" the actual video

my bad!! i somehow got the wrong video last time. this is the actual music video, not some out of shape guy posing with his intimidating physique. once again, a thousand apologies for damaging your eyes!!

• 4.2554/5
• 2192
• 15
• 7/1/2008
• by demontrace

Video:

the actual giving tree movie spoken by shel silverstein

a little nostalgia for you guys, used to love this story. from 1973. the audio sucks i know, but listen to it especially if you never heard of it before.

• 4.5508/5
• 1293
• 16
• 10/15/2008
• by mages011

Video:

virtual divorce & virtual death lead to actual charge

tokyo — a 43-year-old player in a virtual game world became so angry about her sudden divorce from her online husband that she logged on with his password and killed his digital persona, police said thursday.

the woman, who has been jailed on suspicion of illegally accessing a computer and manipulating electronic data, used his id and password to log onto the popular interactive game maple story to carry out the virtual murder in may, said a police official in the northern city of sapporo.

"i was suddenly divorced, without a word of warning. that made me so angry," the official quoted her telling investigators. the piano teacher had not plotted any revenge in the real world, the official said.

she has not yet been formally charged.

if convicted, she could face up to five years in prison or a fine up to $5,000.

source

• 4.6012/5
• 1481
• 20
• 10/26/2008
• by InsayneJayne

Video:

actual letters to dear abby

dear abby, my mother is mean and short-tempered. i think she is going through her mental pause. dear abby, a couple of women moved in across the hall from me. one is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid-twenties. these two women go everywhere together and i've never seen a man go into their apartment or come out. do you think they could be lebanese? dear abby, i have a man i never could trust. he cheats so much i'm not even sure this baby i'm carrying is his. dear abby, i am a twenty-three-year-old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. it's getting expensive and i think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but i don't know him well enough to discuss money with him. dear abby, i suspected that my husband had been fooling around, and when i confronted him with the evidence he denied everything and said it would never happen again.

• 2.6/5
• 40
• 0
• 4/29/2009
• by TigerRenko

Video:

actual medical charts

- the baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.
--exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
- the skin was moist and dry.
- rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.
- she stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce.
- between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
- the patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.
- i saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
- the patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.
- bleeding started in the rectal area and continued all the way to los angeles.
- both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
- she is numb from her toes down.
- exam of genitalia was completely negative except for the right foot.
- while in the emergency room, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
- the lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
- the patient was to have a bowel resection. however he took a job as a stockbroker instead.
- occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
- coming from detroit, this man has no children.
- examination reveals a well-developed male lying in bed with his family in no distress.
- patient was alert and unresponsive.
- when she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.

• 3.2373/5
• 42
• 0
• 7/7/2009
• by TigerRenko

Video:

actual answer from a medical student

while making his rounds, a doctor points out an x-ray to a group of medical students. “as you can see,” he says, “the patient limps because his left fibula and tibia are radically arched.” the doctor turns to one of the students and asks, “what would you do in a case like this?” “well,” ponders the student, “i suppose i’d limp, too.”

• 2.2809/5
• 187
• 0
• 7/7/2009
• by TigerRenko

Video:

actual newspaper headlines

- something went wrong in jet crash, expert says - police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers - saftey experts say school bus passengers should be belted - drunk gets nine months in violin case - survivor of siamese twins joins parents - farmer bill dies in house - iraqi head seeks arms - is there a ring of debris around uranus? - stud tires out - prostitutes appeal to pope - panda mating fails: veterinarian takes over - soviet virgin lands short of goal again

• 2/5
• 58
• 0
• 7/7/2009
• by TigerRenko

Video:

actual life captured from space

a portion of ufo: the greatest story ever denied, detailing images of "life" captured by nasa footage. certainly interesting.

• 4.1445/5
• 7861
• 57
• 9/13/2009
• by Bhujerba

Video:

actual lines from resumes

i am very detail-oreinted. my intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable. thank you for your consideration. hope to hear from you shorty! enclosed is a ruff draft of my resume. it's best for employers that i not work with people. here are my qualifications for you to overlook. i am a quick leaner, dependable, and motivated. if this resume doesn't blow your hat off, then please return it in the enclosed envelope. my fortune cookie said, "your next interview will result in a job." and i like your company in particular. you hold in your hands the resume of a truly outstanding candidate! i saw your ad on the information highway, and i came to a screeching halt. insufficient writing skills, thought processes have slowed down some. if i am not one of the best, i will look for another opportunity. please disregard the attached resume -- it is terribly out of date. seek challenges that test my mind and body, since the two are usually inseparable. reason for leaving last job: the owner gave new meaning to the word paranoia. i prefer to elaborate privately. previous experience: self-employed--a fiasco. exposure to german for two years, but many words are inappropriate for business. my experience in horticulture is well-rooted. experience: watered, groomed, and fed the family dog for years. i am a rabid typist. education: college, august 1880 - may 1984. i have a bachelorette degree in computers. excellent memory; strong math aptitude; excellent memory; effective management skills; and very good at math. graduated in the top 66% of my class. accomplishments: completed 11 years of high school. strengths: ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer. special skills: experienced with numerous office machines and can make great lattes. i worked as a corporate lesion. special skills: speak english. served as assistant sore manager. reason for leaving last job: pushed aside so the vice president's girlfriend could steal my job. married, eight children. prefer frequent travel. education: b.a. in loberal arts. objective: to have my skills and ethics challenged on a daily basis

• 3/5
• 35
• 0
• 10/1/2009
• by TigerRenko

Video:

what are the actual plans of the gop for healthcare reform

oh, i didn't hear what the republicans proposed. needless to say, i was shocked and stunned.

• 3.7405/5
• 2346
• 6
• 10/3/2009
• by Glitchen

Video:

the actual version of "trapped in the closet."

this is the actual version of trapped in the closet. i'm sure most of you have seen it. for those who haven't, here it is. size: 30 megs length: 20:27 codec: wmv version: uncensored and censored chapters

• 3.5/5
• 4787
• 10
• 11/22/2005
• by Dagithum

Video:

the following are actual statements found on insurance claim forms.

the following are actual statements found on insurance forms where car drivers attempted to summarize the details of an accident in the fewest words.

coming home i drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree i don't have.

the other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.

i thought my windows was done but i found out it was up when i put my head through it.

i collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

a truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

a pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

the guy was all over the road. i had to swerve a number of times before i hit him.

i pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.

in my attempt to kill a fly, i drove into a telephone pole.

i had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. as i reached an intersection, a hedge sprange up, obscuring my vision and i did not see the other car.

i had been driving for 40 years when i feel asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

i was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.

as i approached the intersection, a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. i was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident. to avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, i struck the pedestrian.

my car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

an invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

i told the police that i was not injured but on removing my hat, i found that i had a fractured skull.

i was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when i struck him. the pedestrian had no idea which direction to run so i ran over him.

i saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentlemen as he bounced off the hood of my car.

the indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

i was thrown from my car as it left the road. i was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.

the telephone pole was approaching. i was attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck my front end.

• 3.8201/5
• 429
• 4
• 12/16/2005
• by *Guaii*